Moving With Elderly
At one point in our life we might be faced with a tough decision to place our elderly parents or a relative into an assisted living, nursing home, senior living, elderly care facility, etc… Moving with elderly isn’t an easy task for many local moving companies. Just the thought of it could bring up feelings of guilt. The conversation alone could bring up feelings of abandonment. The truth is, placing an elderly parent into a home could be the most loving act a child could do.
We want to offer some basic advice to help with the decision making and transition:
- Making this decision alone is not recommended unless you are the only person available or capable of making such a decision. Bringing this topic up may not be easy but it may be necessary for many obvious reasons
- There are special considerations and unique methods of initiating conversation with your loved one. They can suddenly feel like a burden to you or have feelings of abandonment. They may deny they need assistance or simply refuse help. You will need assistance from the professionals at the care facility when the time is right.
- Unfortunately, more often than not things have to get worse before they get better. Falling down and needing immediate medical care, forgetting to pay a light bill could result in having their electricity shut off, or even worse, a home invasion.
- Be aware that you may have feelings that vary from other family members that are attached to this decision. Think it through and be sure to recognize others opinions and concerns. Take it one step at a time and plan carefully.
- Giving other family members time to react to this decision and address their concerns. Some people are better at negotiating or may have greater patience for this type of thing. Often it is better to involve more members of the family.
- Absolutely do not make false promises such as, “You can come back if you don’t like it”. Speak calmly and truthfully. Explain in practical terms and why it’s the proper decision. You want them to feel safe and well cared for. It is not advisable to tell them “It will be easier on the family”.
- Reassure them that you will continue to be actively involved in their life and follow up with it. If you continue to see each other on a regular schedule it will help them to feel they are still connected to the family and are still important to you.
- Allow them to be a huge part in the decision making. You could visit many locations and get a tour of each facility. Take notes of the comments and concerns brought up by them. You could even consider arriving at lunch time and enjoy lunch together. You will all get a better feel for the atmosphere when everyone is grouped together.